Saturday, March 14, 2009

Is It Over?

I spent several hours with Aaruba today. Took him for walks. Let him graze. Cried on his shoulder. Remembered.

He's feeling better, but many questions remain.

There's a good chance he'll make it through this time, but when will it happen again?

What will make him happiest and healthiest in the meantime?

I wish he could talk.

Here's a photo of him in early summer, 2007, still a wild-eyed baby. (New readers, you can find a bit of Aaruba's story here.) I don't like to think how our journey could end.

8 comments:

allhorsestuff said...

Tamara wow, I would be reflecting as well,with a bit of wonder too.
I am happy that he is with you and that there are some choices to be had!
Kac

Endurance Granny said...

Just sending a long distance hug...thoughts, prayers, and hopes for a good outcome still winging your way. ~E.G.

LizGoldsmith, EquineInk said...

So glad he's doing better. I hope they figure out a way you can keep him comfortable.

Carol said...

Tamara,
I am so sorry to hear about Aruba's struggles with his tummy :(

I think if I were in your shoes I would try to take things one day at a time and learn as much as you can about his problems (which it already seems like you are doing).

I remember the pics of you doing the tango with him around Christmas time and I can tell from other pictures you have posted that he IS a happy horse. He knows you care about him and that you love him and that's what is important.

Many hugs to you and your wonderful boy!

Carol

horseideology said...

I am so glad he is doing better and seems to be coming out of the woods.

Is there safety in happiness? Doesn't having happiness in itself cause that risk of losing it? Life is not static.

I think the deeper we love another, the more we fear what could be or what will happen. Horses are wiser - they choose the open wind, not the closed stall, to live their life - whether it be long or short.

During the years of doubt about my mares' illness, a horse on the property where I boarded died from a freak accident. He was healthy, young and his whole life was ahead of him... yet he died... and my aging, ill mare lived on for three more good years. That's not to depress you - but to show it's futile to know the future and we have to enjoy every moment of today or it will slip by us.

Sending you both strength during this testing time.

Cactus Jack Splash said...

I am glad to hear he is better. Every horse owner faces the struggle you are now facing...
The question of what the future holds and how do you address it. Mark Rashid in his book Horsemanship Through Life has a conversation with a friend about his own horse Buck getting older and the loss of the friend's horse. He quotes his friend saying "It is the price of the ticket".
Allowing all the love and joy our horses bring to our lives also opens us up to a heck of a lot of sorrow when they are suffering.
Aruba is lucky to have you by his side through all of this. I just wish you weren't hurting so much. We are all thinking of you and saying prayers.

enlightenedhorsemanship.net said...

I have a feeling you will always be waiting for the other shoe to drop, until you can find out the root cause and address it.
I'm so sorry about all of this.

*cries on his shoulder alongside you*

Funder said...

I'm so very sorry to read this, Tamara! Best of luck to yall, and I know you'll do what's best for him. ((hugs))