One of my life's greater frustrations, which I thought was finally coming to an end, has instead been extended for a significant period. The news left me tense to the point of aching, shell-shocked, raw and dangerous as shattered glass.
"I don't know what I'm going to do," I told Ironman through furious tears.
"Well, what can you do?"
I had a few ideas, only some of which were legal, and most of which weren't likely to solve the problem anyway. Eventually, I worked down to the obvious conclusion: "I'll just keep doing my best."
Most of the time, that works. Besides, I can't live with myself any other way.
Photo by Michael EnschLast night, I got another piece of interesting news.
Tomorrow's Owyhee Spring endurance ride will be a 60-miler. (I swear it said 50 last week.)
SIXTY MILES? Huh. Well. Okay, then. Looks like Consolation's second-ever endurance ride, our first of the season, will also be our longest ever.
The weather should help. Our previously delightful spring temperatures have dropped to highs in the fifties, with a healthy wind and 30% chance of afternoon showers. Less than ideal for us riders, sure, but marvelous for the horses.
We'll start at 8:00 a.m. in hand-biting, buck-rousing cold. Having watched Consolation -- sleek and electric with fitness, feed, and rest, twisting like a dervish in her paddock last night -- I suspect I'll have my hands full on the first, 25-mile loop. My job will be to keep her from wearing too thin to finish this long, long ride.
My plan is to ride well, ride smart, and do the best we can. I reckon we've a good chance of coming through not only unscathed, but stronger than ever.
Best we can do.
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8 comments:
Good plan.
sj
Finally got around to subscribing to your blog (via google reader)!
Sorry to hear you got some bad news; fortunately, from what I've been able to gather, you "doing your best" is a really fine plan. :-)
BTW: have a great and fun ride this weekend!
-glenn
Sheesh. This is what like is like sometimes, eh?
So many times when life for us was a major uphill battle (think insane inclines), folks would skae their heads in admiration and ask, "how do you keep going?" All I could say was, "I put one foot in front of the other because it's the only way I know how."
People are built to move. Sounds like you are doing it with grace and strength.
Whatever is going on, your ability to express it so simply and elegantly can never hurt. And a 60-mile ride might burn off some of what ails you. Good luck.
Hubby says "You eat an elephant one bite at a time", I guess that is the best advice, along with one step at a time. Sometimes, when you think you cannot go one step further, the end of it all is in sight. Best wishes to you and have a great ride. Do not let this ruin you recreation.
I'm reading Anne Lamott's Bird by Bird. It relates to her little brother attempting to write a huge project about birds, and her writer father simply telling him to do it "bird by bird." That is my new motto...Rome wasn't built in a night, and if things are stressful you have to just focus on what you can.
God only knows that juggling medical leave from medical school (I just got approved by my specialist to go back in August--woot!), disseminated Lyme's disease (as well as rehabbing my muscles and taking my meds and supplements), plus dealing with my ugly, nasty divorce AND my five horses is leaving me a tad bit...exasperated?!?
Just...keep on going. Because it will get better. Focus on the things that are enjoyable and put the bad things in a small dark closet somewhere to shrivel up and go ka-put. :)
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