Friday, November 20, 2009

Tempest

I do not appreciate injustice.

Lies are about the worst thing I can think of.

It infuriates me to see unethical behavior gain the upper hand.

I am tense to the point of physical pain. The best thing I can say is that at least it's Friday.

Several people expressed their sympathy today. They asked if I was going to ride this weekend. Just making conversation. Knowing that riding is something I enjoy. Something I might do for relaxation.

I suppose I surprised them by saying no. But I haven't any patience left.

Ever tried working when a horse when your fuse is short?

It's a bad idea. In fact, to the horse, it's downright unjust. Confusing.

She doesn't understand lies, my horse. Whatever I tell her with my body and tone, she takes as purest truth.

She has no concept of misdirected rage.

She doesn't understand, "I'm sorry."

So I'll repair fence, or shovel manure, or fill the water troughs by hand. Maybe I'll just close my eyes and listen while the horses chew their hay. But I won't ride. Not until I'm good and ready to do it right.

This tempest ain't in any kind of teapot, see? It's mustang-wild. There's plenty of damage to be done, and I can't do enough to stop it.

But I can keep it from harming my horse.

Ethics?

What a novel idea.
_________________________________________________________

Related Posts

A Moment of Silence
_________________________________________________________

Want to read more posts like this one?

Subscribe to The Barb Wire

13 comments:

Jon said...

L.M., I don't know your mind and I fall pretty short of philosophical wisdom, but I do find that at times watching the herd has a magical way of loosening some of the tightest screws inside - no yesterday, no tomorrow, just now. Kinda my secret stash of perspective.

Lori Skoog said...

Such an interesting post...very smart not to take out what you are feeling on a horse. Is there something in particular that made you write this? Have not read a post from you in quite awhile. Hope all is well.

Jonna of Acer Farm said...

absolutely.. many a time, I just had to tell myself no, not today, it will only make for a recipe for disaster...May today be a better day for you.

Tamara of In the Night Farm said...

You have that right, Jon. I have yet to find better therapists or teachers than horses at liberty.

Hi Lori. Yes, there's a particular situation underway. This too shall pass, but it's not easy in the meantime. (Time-consuming, too, hence the dearth of posts.)

Thanks, Jonna. I'll spend today focusing on other things. Weekends are good. :)

horseideology said...

I can deal with other character flaws but liars... they are the worst. Hoping for resolution and comeuppance upon the offender (sorry, I do believe in Karma and things do get resolved with time).

The horses - they appreciate cleaning and hanging out, probably more then working out. :P Sometimes when it's a bad day giving a horse hug or having a chin on your shoulder is the the only therapy needed.

LizGoldsmith, EquineInk said...

I had a trainer who always recommended that if you were feeling short tempered or angry at your horse you had two choice -- put your horse away or go for a hack on a loose rein. I try to remember that. Sometimes a ride helps me relax but when it doesn't I try hard not to take it out on my horse.

allhorsestuff said...

I'm with ya...and so are the horses!
KK

Michelle said...

This post is so true, and kudos for recognizing it. I like Liz's idea and will often just take Tiny out to walk the trails if I'm in a particularly bad mood.
Hope things improve soon for you.

carlyndowdle said...

...........................................

Merri said...

I know how you feel! If I'm mad about something, I won't ride a horse I don't get along with. Sometimes I'll get mad at a horse when I'm riding him for not doing something right, like opening a gate, like he SHOULD ALREADY KNOW, and I have to stop myself, take a breath, and not take it out on him. It only gets him more frustrated and you undo what you've done.
And horses don't lie - they are honest. They like you, they don't like you - it's all out there in the open with horses.

theliteraryhorse said...

Amen Tamara!
Wow is that accepting responsibility and care for your horse, or what? Way to go.

Occasionally, I don't even know I'm upset until I'm onboard and start to get frustrated. Big red flag, even minor frustration.

I get off. Figure out what I'm upset about. I find talking out loud to certain horses (on the ground) helps me clarify what the real issue is, and gives me good free therapy. Nothing like a muzzle shoved into my armpit to make me feel saner.

Big anger, different animal. Much support to you as you go through this.
Jane

電話 said...

forgive others but not yourself........................................

lytha said...

this is one of your posts i can really identify with. during bad times (after a breakup or something) i would never ride. it just seemed wrong to mix my favorite thing with such negative emotions.

i never thought about it not being fair to the horse, just i didn't want to taint my source of joy. and i didn't want my horse to see me like that.

~lytha in germany